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Rumor: New York Yankees Close To Signing LHP Barack Obama [HUMOR]

In a stunning turn of events, the New York Yankees are reportedly "very close" to signing highly sought-after left-handed pitcher Barack Obama to a multi-year contract.

Pending a team physical, Obama is expected to join the team following the All-Star break.

It is currently unknown whether he will assume the starting role once held by Chien-Ming Wang—who has been on the disabled list since July 5 with a strained right shoulder—or push the struggling Joba Chamberlain back into the bullpen.

GM Brian Cashman was unavailable for comment, but a team official who spoke on the condition of anonymity said that Obama "will definitely come in and make an impact, especially with Wang's injury and Joba's inability to pitch even halfway decently."

Yankees scouts were on hand at both of Obama's previous outings and were extremely impressed with the 47-year-old's accuracy and velocity.

Said one of the scouts, "He has all the tools to eventually become a top-of-the-rotation starter. He has a nice changeup that he likes to throw low in the strike zone—that's his money pitch."

While terms of the contract were not announced, the signing was a major turn of events as the Chicago White Sox appeared to be the front-runner to sign the lefty.

Obama even wore a White Sox jacket to his most recent start, then found out the Yankees had outbid Chicago for his services.

The Washington Nationals were also rumored to be a possible landing zone for Obama because of its proximity to his home, but let's be real here: since when do they ever sign anyone of stature in free agency?

Despite questions about his ability to pitch deep into games—both of his previous outings mysteriously lasted only one pitch—Obama sounded confident that he can turn the Yankees' rotation around.

"I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors," said Obama in a recent statement in Washington, D.C.

No word yet on whether George W. Bush has received any offers, however.

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