Cincinnati Reds

D.C.’s best rapper and confused basketball fan, Wale’, will likely be the best thing to happen to the Redskins this December, as he is scheduled to perform at halftime of the ‘Skins-Cowboys game on Dec. 27.

Immediately, two possible scenarios emerge from this performance.

One, Sonny Jurgensen and Sam Huff drunkenly question, "What the hell was that at halftime?"

If there is a positive to be taken away from the Redskins’ second-consecutive choke job , it’s that the offense can now be offered up as a legitimate NFL scoring unit.

Twenty or more points in two out of the last three weeks? Rejoice, Raljon.

This week on You Crap, we're brought to you by Japanese Toilets , the perfect gift for everyone on your Christmas shopping list who wants his bowel movements to be a baffling and expensive ordeal. Once you've dropped a bomb on one of these, you'll never want to commit a war crime on anything less!

This is the sixth installment of the grading of the starters for the Cincinnati Reds' 2009 performances.

Willy Taveras is my biggest disappointment of the Reds' acquisitions last season. He came in as the reigning National League stolen base champ with 68.

This season, he "tentatively" stole only 25 bases and finished a dismal ninth in the league. Michael Bourn of the Houston Astros was the league's most prolific thief this year with 61.

Pete Rose has more hits than any other man who ever played professional baseball.

He finished his long career with 4,256 hits, surpassing the immortal Ty Cobb.

Derek Jeter has now played fourteen seasons with the New York Yankees and is generally recognized as one of the best players and best hitters of his era. 

I have long been intrigued thinking of the comparisons of these two men on the field.  (Off the field there is no comparison.)

This is the first post of my in-depth review of the 2009 Cincinnati Reds.  After a quick look back at the season as a whole, I will now begin a player-by-player analysis of this year's performances and what to look for next year.

This is the fifth report card I have given out to the starting players for the Cincinnati Reds.

I started it by giving first baseman Joey Votto an A, followed by Brandon Phillips, whom I graded a solid B.

Next up was shortstop Paul Janish, who inherited the starting role when Alex Gonzalez was sent to the Boston Red Sox. Janish barely made muster as he received a disappointing D+ due to his anemic bat.

Two weeks ago, it wasn’t a stretch to assume that the Redskins would lose the balance of their schedule, finish 2-14, and pioneer new ways to draft everything other than offensive linemen. But a funny thing happened on the way to national ridicule and complete fan revolt.

Washington scored more than 17 points for the first time all year. And they won.

While Scott Rolen is still in the "honeymoon" stage with the Reds, I will be evaluating him on a 40-game season.

His hitting is better than average, which should be expected for a .284 lifetime hitter. He didn't exhibit the power that I was so hopeful he would. Three home runs in a quarter of the season make it elementary enough to do the math; 12 home runs would not cut it for a corner infielder. He had a decent OBP as well at .364.

Wow. Just as I thought the Reds had given up on any hope they had for Ramon Hernandez, he slides in the back door. Cincinnati just signed him to a one-year contract (with options) worth $3 million.

The Reds had declined his $8.5 million option earlier, and many, including myself, were not sad to see him depart. Ryan Hanigan can play the position for one-eighth of the price or less, and just as well I might add. I had big plans for that money!