Horsehide Chronicles

The Dodgers' offense is so bad.

[This is where you're supposed to chime in by shouting in unison, "How bad is it?"]

So bad it's keeping the Marlins' offense company.

One of the big stories so far in 2013 is the utter ineptitude of Miami's hitters, who own an aggregate triple-slash line of .229/.288/.315. This was, more or less, to be expected, given the club's quadruple-A roster.

Dear Bryce,

You don't know me, but I feel like I know you well enough. Like many others, I'm a fan. Also like many others, I feel like I know you a little better now after having watched the documentary ESPN did on you. Bryce Begins was good stuff. A real humdinger.

It also got me to thinking that it's high time I asked a favor of you, one that I believe most others in galaxies both known and unknown would find agreeable.

Heading into the season, the last thing the Miami Marlins needed was something bad to happen to young slugger Giancarlo Stanton.

These being the Marlins, it's only natural that something bad has indeed happened to Stanton. And now the Marlins should be worried.

Very worried.

The story of the Major League Baseball closer is not unlike the story of man. It's an evolutionary saga.

A few years back, an asteroid fell to earth. When it cracked open, humanoid apes crawled out and populated the land. Then there was a monolith. Then there was a mound, high heat, wicked sliders and goofy facial hair.

And that's how closers came to be. The short version of the tale, anyway.

April is both the best and worst month of the Major League Baseball season. 

On the one hand, baseball is in full swing and we finally have enough games to adequately judge teams and players. For all the previews and predictions we have during the winter and spring training, no one knows exactly how things will pan out until a decent sample size of games are played. 

On the other hand, the panic starts to set in if a team has gotten off to a bad start or a star player has gotten hurt and will have to miss a substantial amount of time. 

While the Chicago Cubs didn’t head into the 2013 season with the expectation that this would definitely be a rebuilding season, they knew it was at least a reasonable possibility—one that’s looking more likely after an 8-14 start.

If Major League Baseball is interested in speeding up the pace at which games are played, it should take some cues from the Atlantic League.

What the heck is an Atlantic League, you ask?

In the old days, there was no explaining hot April starts in Major League Baseball.

But these are the new days. We have numbers that explain everything that needs explaining, making it pretty easy to understand what's under the hood of hot April starts.

So that's what we're going to do, while we still have a few days left to go until the end of April. And when I say "we," I mean I'm going to ramble on about a couple guys while you sit there and nod.

How would Jeff Samardzija have panned out in the National Football League, you ask?

It's not even May yet, but the Los Angeles Dodgers' once-deeper-than-deep starting pitching staff is down to a small handful of able bodies. 

That's their excuse to go out and make a big splash. Round up the usual suspects!

Actually, let's slow things down and get on the same page first.