If only they awarded points for how awesomely you failed.
Had Yoenis Cespedes made this diving Matrix catch, a ripple in the fabric of space would’ve began in Keanu Reeves’ pants and reverberated throughout the world, revealing our perceived reality to be but a computer simulation perpetrated by our machine overlords.
Maybe that’s a bit grandiose, but the believer in me likes to think Neo at least felt a twinge in his apples when the Oakland A’s outfielder went into bullet-time during Monday night’s game against the San Francisco Giants, courtesy of NextImpulseSports.
I’ve seen people lay out for the ball before, but Cespedes' almost-catch reeked of science fiction movie physics and Trinity lobby-flips. It didn’t record an out, but hot damn did it look cool.
While Cespedes didn’t make the grab or stop the machines from harvesting our bodies like living batteries, he did found other ways to contribute, knocking in a two-run double to help the A’s wrap up a 4-1 victory over the Giants.
Now if only Cespedes can focus his energy and concentrate on the ball instead of the circus tumbling, he might prove to be “The One”—a distinction currently held by this young baseball player, who puts Cespedes' missed catch to shame.
That’s what taking the red pill looks like, Cespedes. Just remember—there is no ball.
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